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:icondodgingthebeat: More from DodgingTheBeat


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Unread by CarmenVeloso

DDs by neurotype

Writing by Tales-of-Tao


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October 29, 2012
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Do you think we'll get a last song?

I'm not sure.  This diary I'm writing in is full of holes.  It's sopping like a wet sponge.  It reeks, but what doesn't in the filth and the mess?

Storm's passing.  Not like I've ever seen here.  Even the explosive storms of my youth; running in the fields, the junkyards, the rust-ravaged train tracks of old wasn't quite like this.  

Something's exploded against the skyline.  Orange is reflecting off the glass; the spider-striped, near shattered glass I kicked two weeks ago while mowing the grass.

It might be the gas works.  Or the chemical sheds.  Weyrdstorms do this, you know.  That's what the warnings said.  Electricity and chaos and hellish atomic confusion mixed into an atmospheric slurry and let to rage.  I ask the question because music's the one thing I'm yearning for right now.  It settles me, helps me think.  Always has, though keeping my sister's sniveling furthest from my head might be an ulterior motive.

Do I think I'm escaping this place alive?  Not sure; my heart's trying to tug up my head full of figures.  No off switch in a head such as mine, more's the pity.  The tendrils of pure force will crush this place, this house full of creaking baseboards and tougher, fonder memories.  Then the creatures will come.  First the shambling wrecks of the storm, the ones the Army's been mentioning in the flyers.  I'm worried about the ones that come after.  The rain-coated family men with their shovels and weasel words.  No lie is too great with the demands of a young life, sandwiched between Red Cross blankets and the ruins and the horrors.  Nothing deserves that fate, I'll admit.  But I'm not going to hold my head up high when that world of mud and timber and ashfault and the slapdash helicopter's silhouette themselves against the pounding rain.  

There's not much to do but sit.  Mom's away.  Dad's in the corner.  

Do I want a last song?  Will it anchor my sweaty mortal form to the shifting, uncanny ground?

Probably not.  But there's an infusion of beauty in the notes between chords and words and atmospheres constructed in ignorance of any storm.

There's a beauty to it all.  

A rhythmn.

My hands are fumbling the record.

God I'm cold.  Flip it.

Its-  
Written after reading of the weather reports on the Atlantic Coast- best of wishes, folks.

This is post-apocalyptic/speculative fiction after a fashion.

This is also the first piece I have EVER handwritten. EVER. This is a direct copy from my notebook.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-02-18
From the suggester: "the writing and force of description leave nothing to be desired" in The Last Song by ~DodgingTheBeat. ( Suggested by xlntwtch and Featured by neurotype )
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2013  Student General Artist
Wow..... I like it a lot. One quibble - "rhythmn"> rhythm.
Reply
:iconoviedomedina:
oviedomedina Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013
Really captures tht "interrupted last diary entry" feel and mood.
Excellent!
Reply
:icondodgingthebeat:
DodgingTheBeat Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013   Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconoviedomedina:
oviedomedina Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013
No problem!
Reply
:iconpanicrusnik09:
PaniCrusnik09 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013
Eloquent and disturbing.
Reply
:icondodgingthebeat:
DodgingTheBeat Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013   Writer
Thanks!
Reply
:iconjamminjo:
JamminJo Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Sensational Work of Art :love:

Congratulations on your DD Feature :)
Reply
:icondodgingthebeat:
DodgingTheBeat Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013   Writer
Thanks!
Reply
:iconjamminjo:
JamminJo Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
You are very welcome :)
Reply
:iconlove-strength:
Love-Strength Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is very powerful, how the main character contemplates whether or not he will be recognized in the dystopia he lives in. The well written layout of the story only adds to the emotion and despair. Wonderful job my friend ^.^
Reply
:icondodgingthebeat:
DodgingTheBeat Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013   Writer
Thank you!

It's weird...this piece just sort of came to me. As I've said below, it was a spur-of-the-moment reaction to a BBC article I'd been reading while waiting for coffee to brew on the horrible hurricane that struck New York City back in October. I sorta wondered...if the power was going to fail, and death was assured, what would your last song be?
I didn't plan this. Hell, the final draft of this was the original notebook draft, with two words changed. It just sorta...happened.

Anyhow, thanks so much for reading and commenting!
Reply
:iconlove-strength:
Love-Strength Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem ^.^ Whatever inspires you to write is perfectly fine. :D
Reply
:iconanimelover74:
animelover74 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013
I love this! Very well done!
Reply
:icondodgingthebeat:
DodgingTheBeat Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013   Writer
Hey, thanks! This was a pretty quick piece- it could probably use a bit of editing. Nonetheless, am pleased with the way it came out.

Thanks so much for reading!
Reply
:iconanmisto:
anmisto Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, its B-E-A-utiful
Reply
:icondodgingthebeat:
DodgingTheBeat Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013   Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on the well deserved DD! :dalove:
Have a nice day! :heart:
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:icondodgingthebeat:
DodgingTheBeat Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013   Writer
Thanks so much!
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
My pleasure :happybounce:
Reply
:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I like the level of vagueness in this, also the fact that the format easily lends itself to imagining this letter resurfacing years after the catastrophe. :)
Reply
:icondodgingthebeat:
DodgingTheBeat Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013   Writer
Thanks! Yup, was definitely going for that impression. This whole piece started life as an untidy scrawl that sorta jumped from my pen unbidden between reading a BBC report on the hurricane that hit New York City in October and waiting for coffee to heat up downstairs. I started writing it as the remains of a journal. It was only after I finished that it was more like...a letter, a plea I suppose.

Anyhow, thank you very much for reading and commenting!
Reply
:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Ha, awesome.

Sure thing!
Reply
:iconpossumfan:
PossumFan Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I love this! Has a hint of mystery in it... Which I like!

+ fave
Reply
:icondodgingthebeat:
DodgingTheBeat Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013   Writer
Thanks so much!
Reply
:iconpossumfan:
PossumFan Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome!
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013   Writer
Congratulations on your DLD "Pick of the Day." A good way to begin 2013! :D
Reply
:icondodgingthebeat:
DodgingTheBeat Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013   Writer
Indeed- thanks!
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013   Writer
:iconredbullplz:
Reply
:icondodgingthebeat:
DodgingTheBeat Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013   Writer
And thank you for featuring it! :D
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013   Writer
You're very welcome :)
Reply
:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DailyLitDeviations and has been selected as our "Pick of the Day". It is featured in a news article here: [link] and on our main page.

Keep writing and keep creating.
Reply
:icondodgingthebeat:
DodgingTheBeat Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013   Writer
...wow. THANKS! Did not expect this- a good start to the new year!
Reply
:icondodgingthebeat:
DodgingTheBeat Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012   Writer
Done! The aforementioned typo has been edited; thanks for pointing it out!
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012   Writer
:blushes: ..And of course I left a typo in my comment, too. *sigh* I meant "...settles..."
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012   Writer
Yep, fix the typo in "It settle me, it makes me thin[k]. (instead of "thing") and you've got it! :) I like this one. :+fav: Thank you.
Reply
:iconlaurotica:
laurotica Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012   Writer
I find handwriting is rarely a negative experience, and in this case, it's produced something wonderful. It's haunting, it's wondrously sombre, and brilliant. I did catch one little typo, however: in It settles me, helps me thing. I think thing should be think.

Well done :clap:
Reply
:iconthemoormaiden:
TheMoorMaiden Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I really like the way this is written, it feels very 'in the moment' and if you hadn't said so in your comments I think I'd have guessed it was handwritten before it was typed. It has a certain essence of a war journal entry or memoir about it which I like. :)

I like the line: Do I think I'm escaping this place alive? It gives off the feeling of a character who is talking to himself and asking himself questions so as to keep himself sane; sort of like Tom Hanks in Cast Away. :giggle:

Just a couple of things I noticed, I'm guessing it's supposed to be 'think' rather than 'thing' here: 'It settles me, helps me thing.' And should the very last word be 'It's' rather than 'Its'? I'm not entirely sure on the latter as I don't know what your character was going on to say, but I thought maybe he was saying what the record was in which case it should be 'It's'. :) If not just ignore me; I have a tendency to talk too much.

Anyway I'm gonna stop rambling now. :P I really enjoyed reading this; your narrative voice is great. Keep writing!
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:iconakashasdreamworld:
AkashasDreamworld Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Very nice, I like the turbulence that you portray in the "lyrical I"s thoughts! Also the jumping of thoughts! It has a very honest flow (:
It being at direct copy from your notebook is just more reason for me to think you did a great job! (:

-Avy
Reply
:icondodgingthebeat:
DodgingTheBeat Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2012   Writer
Thanks for the kind words!

Will be checking out your profile when I next get the chance to return the favour.
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:iconakashasdreamworld:
AkashasDreamworld Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome!

Oh, thank you (:
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